Dear Emotions,

Can we not have the utter clusterfuck that we had last night? Because that was annoying as all hell and not pleasant for anyone. Seriously, work with me here. Don't force me to make good on my promise to kill you in the face.

No love,
The Girl Who Just Wants to Be Happy, Dammit

Dear Migraines,

( How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways... )

Migraines are so fun
Sensitivity to light
Mommy, make it stop

Now is no better
Exhausted and feeling drugged
Can I pass out now?

I must be insane
Migraine-inspired haikus
Someone kill me now

Ugh ( Read more... )

Dear Body and Mind:

Okay, that's it. I've put up with your shit for the last time. I told you that I'd kill both of you in the face if you ever conspired against me again, but I decided on a more torturous, lingering punishment. The kid gloves are off now, bitches.

No more snacks for either of you until the end of Lent. Yes, I do mean the end of ( Read more... )